Our Favorite & Funniest Jeff Dunham Quotes

Looking for the best Jeff Dunham personal quotes? Check out a few of our favorite words of wisdom, inspiration and wit from the funniest ventriloquist ever!

Jeff Dunham is a comedian and a ventriloquist, so over the years, he has had a funny and popular quote or two. Most of the quotes come from his puppets like Walter, Peanut, Achmed and Bubba J. However, not all the quotes are from the characters because Jeff has had some popular quotes. Whether from his acts or during interviews, here are some of the best Jeff Dunham personal quotes.

Best Jeff Dunham Personal Quotes

“During the holidays last year, we had to take the Hummer and get a little maintenance done on it. And then we went to pick it up when it was finished and we’re driving home, and my wife is behind me, she’s driving the Hummer, and I’m in front, I’m driving the Prius. I was tricked somehow. I don’t know how that happened. But she calls me on the cell phone and she’s laughing. Let me explain to you why. The Prius that we own is not a black Prius, it’s not a red Prius. It’s a blue Prius. But it’s not really a blue Prius, it’s more of a “blue” Prius. It’s pretty. Sparkly!” From the 2007 Jeff Dunham: Spark of Insanity.

Related: Highlights from Jeff Dunham: Unhinged in Hollywood

“I’ve skewered whites, blacks, Hispanics, Christians, Jews, Muslims, gays, straights, rednecks, addicts, the elderly and my wife. As a standup comic, it is my job to make sure the majority of people laugh, and I believe that comedy is the last true form of free speech.”

“In 1980, when I graduated from high school, my goal was to be on ‘The Tonight Show’ with Johnny Carson at least once before our ten-year class reunion. Our class reunion was in June of 1990, and I was on ‘The Tonight Show’ in April 1990, so I made it by a few months.”

“The only way a ventriloquist speaks differently is that he forgoes using his or her lips, and learns to reproduce sounds using the tongue, upper palate and teeth only. Those ‘difficult’ letters are B, F, M, P, V, W and Y.”

“I had a happy, drama-free youth, growing up in an upper-middle-class neighborhood in Dallas, Texas. The only thing that was slightly unusual compared to most of my friends was that I was an only child… I don’t think that’s why my parents gave me a dummy, at least they’ve never copped to it.”

“My mother and my father have always supported me. Now in their eighties, they actually clamor onto the tour bus with me once or twice a year so they can watch the performances and hear the crowds. Traveling with eighty-something-year-olds on a tour bus… there has to be some sort of reality show in that.”

Related: When and How Jeff Dunham Became Famous

“The best place to find material is in real life. I’ve always maintained that it’s not until the mid-20s that you have enough of a life to draw from. There’s nothing better for a comic than to go through some bad stuff – and some good stuff, like getting married.”

Do you have any favorite Jeff Dunham personal quotes? Share in the comments below!

 

24 thoughts on “Our Favorite & Funniest Jeff Dunham Quotes

  1. I love him! He is one of my all time favorite comedians!

  2. Love Jeff! Especially like that he goes to Muslim countries with his Achmed character.

  3. I know him by face not by name! He is incredible and so entertaining as well. We need more people like him in the entertainment biz.

  4. He is so darn good at what he does and funny as heck. I don’t know ventriloquists master those difficult letters.

  5. My hubby and my mom was really love this show. He is really funny they forget all the problems.

  6. Lol Jeff Dunham is so funny! I’ve never had the chance to see him live but his comedy channel specials are fantastic!

  7. OMG, what a fun time. I’ve never seen a full show, but have seen clips here and there and he’s funny 😀

  8. What a funny man he is, I am amazed at how a ventriloquist can do the two voices and not move their mouths

  9. Aside from the profanity he uses at times – Jeff Dunham is amazing! He’s got to be one of the best ventriloquists I’ve ever seen/heard!

  10. I would love to see one of his live shows. It sounds like he knows what he is doing since he has been doing it for years. What I have seen of him he is truly funny.

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